27 Best Dirty Santa Gifts for 2019
Happy Holidays, dirty gift givers! It’s that time of year again. Time for Dirty Santa, Yankee Swap, White Elephant…whatever you call it, it’s time to find the most hilarious gift for your holiday gift exchange party. If you are on the hunt for funny Christmas gift exchange ideas, look no further! We’re committed to making this holiday season the most hilarious one yet, so we’ve rounded up the best Dirty Santa gifts 2019 has bestowed upon us.
You’re welcome. Merry Christmas, you Dirty Elves, you.
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1. Best Gag Gifts for 2019: A Convincing Fake Hair Visor
This is one of those funny gag gifts for Christmas only a true connoisseur of the comedic arts can love. It’s ugly, it’s distasteful, and it’s perfect for your neighbor with the receding hairline who is secretly spending a fortune on hair replacement treatments. Do you want to just shake him sometimes and tell him to embrace is beautiful baldness?
We didn’t think so.
What you really want to do is mock him at your next Dirty Santa gift exchange with this hilarious visor cap.
Trust us, laughs will be had.
2. Best Dirty Santa Gifts: Squirrel In Underpants Ornament
Do you ever wish all the immodest, naked squirrels of the world would just cover up once and for all? Put on some goshdarn underpants squirrels!
The Squirrel-in-Underpants ornament embodies the sentiment in the spirit of the holiday season.
Don’t think too hard about this one or you’ll start wondering if other animals should cover up.
Seem like a weird thing to put on your tree? Well, if you’re looking for funny gifts for gift exchanges like Yankee Swap, White Elephant, and the like, it’s a damn near perfect fit.
Just like this squirrel’s underwear.
3. 2019’s Best Gag Gifts: A Christmas Story Leg Lamp Ornament
Every God-fearing, warm-blooded American Christmas lover adores A Christmas Story. If you don’t marathon-watch it for several days leading up to Christmas and recite lines to your children as a bedtime story, can you truly call yourself a lover of the season?
Be the hero at the next Yankee Swap gift exchange and bring the leg lamp ornament as a testament to one of the greatest gag gifts for Christmas ever given on the silver screen.
4. Funny Christmas Gifts: A Blanket That Lets You Become Chewbacca!
This world is filled with Star Wars fanatics these days. They’re everywhere.
So chances are there will be one of these wild-eyed, foaming-at-the-mouth psychos at your next Dirty Santa gift exchange party. Surprise them with this Chewbacca “blanket” that allows them to not only be warm on cold winter nights, but to become the wookie himself.
If your party has a big turnout, expect an all-out, Imperial Army-style war for this one.
5. Funny Gifts for Gift Exchange: Bearded Ski Mask For Wannabe Lumberjacks
Imagine sporting a long, flowing, lumberjack beard at your next ski holiday, impressing hipster gals and guys left and right as you shimmy down the slopes.
But your ski holiday is next weekend!
There’s just not enough time to grow the beard you really want and need.
We know your holiday guests are often in this situation, which is why this beard ski mask is the perfect funny gag gift idea for your next White Elephant party.
The best part: the Beardski Ski Mask comes in a variety of colors!
6. Bad Santa Gift Exchange Ideas: Giant Sloth Shower Curtain
Looking for a funny Dirty Santa gift idea?
Shower curtains with crazy pictures printed on them are the funniest!
The Jeff Goldblum shower curtain is SO last year. This year it’s Slothzilla that showers our hearts with love!
Impress the party guests with your wit and impeccable taste for bathroom decor. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like a shower curtain with a giant sloth on it.
7. Christmas Gag Gift Ideas: Sweet Slang Flashcards
Isn’t it time your parents and elderly relatives learn the meaning of words and phrases like mofo, lol, and killin’ it?
Are you a millennial who is not being understood?
Time to introduce your loves ones to Slang Flashcards. These are an excellent and hilarious Yankee Swap gift idea for folks who are a little behind the times.
Best thing about this Dirty Santa gift idea? Break them out after the gift exchange and engage the party goers into a hilarious-but-educational flash card game. That’s a bitchin’ idea, if we ever heard one.
8. Best Dirty Santa Gifts 2019: Disturbed Friends Party Game
One thing we love about a good, ol’fashioned Dirty Santa gift exchange is that it brings out the worst in your friends and loves ones. You had no idea how depraved your aunt Tabitha was until she snatched those ass wipes from cousin Louie like she was taking candy from a baby.
Disturbed Friends is a party game that makes for a funny Christmas gift exchange idea, with the added bonus of being able to play it afterwards and see just how disturbed your friends really are.
Also available:
9. Funny Christmas Gift Exchange Ideas: “Paddle Faster, I Hear Banjos” Tee
Ever since the movie Deliverance captured in 1972 the little minds of insecure men by confirming their worst nightmares about their rural countrymen, any reference to expressions of the region elicits stereotypes about the culture of the Appalachian Mountains.
We don’t know what that means either. What we do know is that when we hear banjos, we think bluegrass and fun and head towards them. That’s why the “Paddle Faster, I Hear Banjos” t-shirt, referencing the famous movie, is so hilarious. It makes us feel better about ourselves while at the same time countering our musical predilections.
10. Best Dirty Santa Gifts 2019: Bring Me Some Tacosocks
Some view socks as one of the worst gifts one can receive, maybe second only to cleaning supplies. We would argue otherwise. Socks are a great gift!!!
Especially when said socks are a funny gag gift for gift exchange guests. And especially when said socks may end up with someone receiving tacos.
So to all those who say “bah humbug” to socks (that means you), you don’t deserve any tacos!
Or taco socks.
11. Funny Gifts for Christmas Exchange: Stool Tea Infuser
Tea drinkers are not known for their sense of humor.
That’s where you’re wrong. Everyone knows that tea is one of the most hilarious beverages out there.
Haha… tea. It’s so funny!
Okay, maybe not, but we know what will make tea more funny: the stool tea infuser!
12. Funny Christmas Gifts for 2019: “It’s Raining Men” Umbrella
Sometimes there is a gift that is just perfect for the right person. It’s a gift that is a joke only certain people will get.
Like your uncle Bill who loves disco, has been single for way too long, and is always saying he wishes it could actually rain men.
Or your neighbor Trish, who goes out every Friday night to 70s Dance Night and wears hot pink lipstick even though she’s 50 and is a serial dater.
The “It’s Raining Men” brolly is an homage to the great disco track. It allows you to stay dry while you grove to “It’s Raining Men” under a bunch raining men! This gift was made for them.
13. Best Dirty Santa Gifts 2019: Dad Bod Fanny Pack
This paunch serves as a pouch!
This pouch serves as a paunch!
As if fanny packs weren’t ridiculous enough, the Dad Bod Fanny Pack takes things to a new level. The greatest thing about the funny gag gift is that you don’t have drink beer or eat fast food to sport the cool “dad bod” look.
Of course, you may already have a dad bod, in which case, double paunch!!!
14. Christmas Gag Gift Ideas for 2019: Knit Jimmy Jacket Willy Warmer
Winter apparel offers special covering for heads, special covering for hands, and even special covering for ears. Why not a special covering for…uh…other extremities?
That’s where the Jimmy Jacket Willy Warmer comes in. Like winter. Which is coming. If only poor ol’ Ned Stark had one of these in his drawers at Winterfell.
Why not warm up your holiday party with one of the best gag gifts on the internet?
15. Gag Gifts for 2019 Christmas Exchange: Nicolas Cage Magic Pillow
There are times when you want to shout your love for Nicolas Cage from the rooftops, or share it on social media, or display it on your living room furniture.
Then there are times when you don’t.
The Nicolas Cage Magic Pillow is a perfect gift for people who can’t decide whether to Cage or not to Cage. You can have your Cage one day, and hide your Cage the next.
We like to think this pillow is as versatile as Cage’s acting. And we almost forgot to mention, it’s also one of the funny gifts for Christmas exchange, in case that wasn’t obvious.
16. White Elephant Gift Ideas for the Ages (or Just 2019): Smell My Nuts Candle
If you ever go nuts for that schweatty-ballz fragrance of double-domed experience trapped in a man’s bodice, the Smell My Nuts Candle is for you. Light it up during a romantic moment in your bathroom and watch the clothes drop. You’ve been warned.
17. Best Yankee Swap Gifts for 2019: Bathroom Guest Book
In case you miss that a guest at your gift exchange party pooped at your house, have them log their delivery in a bathroom guest book. It’s just a floater of an idea, really, but the thinking goes: What pooper can resist bragging about their accomplishment?
Exactly.
18. Best Dirty Santa Gifts 2019: Remote Control Cockroach
Disclaimer: Dirty Santa Gift Ideas assumes no responsibility for panic attacks, spontaneous urination, or ear-drum piercing due to screaming that this gift may cause to the loved ones of gift recipients.
That said, a remote control cockroach is a wonderful addition to your Dirty Santa gift exchange. It’s a funny gag gift that keeps on giving.
The fact that some receive laughs and some receive terror is not your problem. Everyone will be laughing in the end, right?
19. Funny Gifts for Christmas Exchange: Redneck Backscratcher
Yee haw, Dirty Santas! Everyone has one in the family. You may even be one yourself!
Rednecks, we mean. And rednecks, just like people with necks of other colors, need to scratch their backs once in a while. This backscratcher is designed especially for rednecks, molded after a tool that the common redneck is familiar with, making it ergonomically appropriate and fail proof.
Or would you rather get a redneck back stabber?!
20. Best Dirty Santa Gifts 2019: Not-Miami Sound Effects Machine
Everyone deserves their own personal soundtrack, and this little sound machine is just that.
Watch out: this is one of those hilarious funny gifts for Christmas exchanges that can completely derail the party into fits of laughter and raucous hilarity. Just imagine every time a guest starts to open a new gift, they get a drumroll. If the gift is a dud, glass breaks. If someone steals a gift, they get a raspberry.
With that being said, this makes a funny gag gift idea for the host! Buy two.
Heck, buy one extra for yourself!
Fuck it, buy one for every family member, coworker, and everyone you know or have ever met!
[APPLAUSE]
21. Best Dirty Santa Gifts 2019: Testicle Bike Taillight
We know what you’re thinking: cyclists, like tea drinkers, don’t have a sense of humor. That’s where you’re wrong. Just look at those ridiculous outfits they wear!
You’ve seen versions of them dangling from pick-up trucks, but these testicles have the dual function as a safety light, and a funny Christmas gift exchange idea.
This taillight will have White Elephant party guests twisting their testicles – if they have them- from laughter!
22. Best Dirty Santa Gifts 2019: “Mountain Krakitten” Is Released
Clash of the Titans (the first one, not the remake) turned many a boy onto Greek myths.
In today’s internet day and age, cats have acquired the status of furry little krakens, released into the world by countless nerds and cat ladies. And the art, oh the art is amazing.
Just look at Mountain Krakitten attacking a ship at sea on this sublimated preshrunk cotton tee. “Release the Krakitten” is the new “Release the Kraken,” we say.
And so will the players at your holiday gift exchange party.
Heck, you may even see a battle between Krakitten and White Elephant!
23. Best Dirty Santa Gifts 2019: Crafting with Cat Hair Book
We’re not sure if this is meant to be serious or funny, but we’re gonna put it in the funny Christmas gag gift category because, well… ew.
Do you ever think “Wow, my cat sheds so much hair I could make another cat”? This book offers ideas on how to do exactly that.
We know there are crazy cat ladies, and gentleman, at White Elephant gift exchanges who will grab this gift under the guise of being funny, but who really can’t wait to get home and start on their cat hair cardigan.
24. Gag Gifts for Christmas Exchange: Pizza Throw
We’d bet that this gift will get the highest number of steals at your Yankee Swap gift exchange. It’s just about the coolest blanket that looks like a pizza that we’ve ever seen.
Not only does this blanket keep you warm, it is shaped like your favorite food group. We know you have dreamed of cuddling up with pizza on a cold winter night. Now, this dream is possible!
We’re partial to the pizza, but this funny gag gift idea comes in donut and hamburger too!
25. Best Dirty Santa Gifts 2019: Beer Flops
It may not be beach season, but that doesn’t mean Dirty Santa gift exchange guests won’t steal the heck out of these hilarious, and useful, beach flip flops.
These flip flops warn beach goers of imminent disaster in an attempt to avert a crisis. Like a tsunami, you maybe asking?
No, silly! This is a funny gag gift article.
These flip flops create a message in the sand to bring their wearer beer, as the beer stockpile is likely to be low by the time the message receiver arrives.
Crisis averted!
26. 2019 White Elephant Gift Ideas: How to Live with a Huge Penis Book
Twenty-six inches is a lot for a penis, but luckily you’re not alone in having oversize male genitalia. Take it from the authors of the How to Live with a Huge Penis book (or don’t, it might hurt…a lot). If you ever run out of White Elephant gift ideas, this little book has plenty to give. And if the winner (wiener?) of this White Elephant gift makes a face when they get stuck with it, you’ll know they don’t need this book.
27. Dad Jokes Book
One of the best white elephant gifts ever is that which keeps on giving. And giving. And giving. Like dad jokes, amirite? Because there’s only one way to make a squirrel like you: Act like a nut.
Alternatives:
Well, we hope you loves these funny Christmas gift exchange ideas as much as we do. Do you have any favorite funny gag gifts you would like to add to the list? Post a comment!
Give only the best, Dirty Santas!
Featured image by Aimee Ray.
