Funny T-Shirts for Men: The Simplest of Dirty Santa Gift Ideas

If you’re ever at a loss what to buy for a Dirty Santa party, think funny t-shirts for men. Funny t-shirts are the easiest and simplest of the Dirty Santa gift ideas to buy. There is nary a person who doesn’t wear tees and there are a lot to choose from. Having said that, men seem to like funny t-shirts a lot more than women. Chalk that up to emotional (im)maturity, if you will, but there’s no question that funny t-shirts for men make for the best Dirty Santa gifts.

While we say that the funny t-shirts we’ve carefully selected for this collection are for men, women can wear these too. In fact, women wearing any of these funny tshirts for men will achieve greater impact because they are less expected to do something like that in the first place. If any of these hilarious men’s tees aren’t available in women’s cuts or sizes, they’re mostly going to be unisex so either follow the instructions of the seller or go one size smaller to be sure.

Stick Figure T-Shirts = Funny Dirty Santa Gift Idea

1. Popular Funny T-Shirt for Men: “I’ve Got Your Back”

You know that guy who says “I’ve got your back” only to turn around and stab you in said back? Well, you won’t feel anything because when he said it, he literally ripped your spine out of your body.

We’re just kidding. It’s all blood and games for those like a good metaphoric joke.

With the “I’ve Got Your Back” 100% preshrunk cotton tee in your bag, you’ll be laughing all the way to the Christmas tree towering over your Dirty Santa party. It’s available in many colors and there is a variant with skeletons instead of stick men.

The joke may get old, but your back will never die.

2. Novelty Men’s Funny T-Shirt: “It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Looses a Weiner

Speaking of fun and games, a Yankee Swap aka White Elephant gift exchange (or any other party, for that matter), can be put to an abrupt end when a loss of a member occurs. No, we’re not talking about one of the Dirty Santa players.

Whoever thinks this 100% cotton t-shirt is funny deserves to have it, just for shits and giggles. You know just the guy, we’re certain.

3. Literal Joke Tee: “Well, That’s Not a Good Sign”

We’ve said our share of super obvious things in our lifetimes. The sun is shining. That puppy’s cute. Funny t-shirts are funny. There is no white elephant at this goddamn White Elephant gift exchange.

The stick figure pointing at a sign that says “BAD” saying “Well, that’s not a good sign”, like on this preshrunk cotton tee, belongs to that category of statements. Bound to elicit a chuckle or two out of your bro mates, it’s at the same time one of those funny Yankee Swap gifts that is deeply philosophical at its core, despite appearances.

Which is a good sign.

Funny Graphic T-Shirts for Men

4. Funny Men’s Tee Perfect for a Beardo: “Beard Growth Chart”

He’s got a beard. He loves it. He grooms it. He saves food crumbs in it for later. And he keeps growing it.

To measure his progress, get him this 100% preshrunk ring-spun cotton t-shirt featuring a beard growth chart. And don’t talk to him until he reaches God status. You’ll be glad you didn’t. Unless he’s Dirty Santa himself, in which case, awesome.

As you were, beardo.

5. Funny or Not, “Mountain Krakitten” Is Released

Clash of the Titans (the first one, not the remake) turned many a boy onto Greek myths.

In today’s internet day and age, cats have acquired the status of furry little krakens, released into the world by countless nerds and cat ladies. And the art, oh the art is amazing.

Just look at Mountain Krakitten attacking a ship at sea on this sublimated preshrunk cotton tee. “Release the Krakitten” is the new “Release the Kraken,” we say.

And so will the players at your holiday gift exchange party. Heck, you may even see a battle between Krakitten and White Elephant!

6. Funny T-Shirt Galore: Miscellaneous Oddities of Internet Art

If there ever were Dirty Santa gift ideas that deserved to be worn, it’s these tees.

Kittens. Rainbows. Food items. This sublimated graphic t-shirt both comes in many, many variations and keeps on giving.

Giggles that is.

Entertain the nerd in you or your Dirty Santa gift exchange event with one of these tees. We guarantee everyone will try to steal it. Dirty Santa would be pleased.

7. Fun at a Cat Gentleman’s Expense: Kitty Cat Carrier

There’s the man bun. There’s the sarong that one guy’s wearing. And then there’s a 90/10 cotton/polyester tee featuring a kitty carrier picture.

Perfect for the friend who loves his cats a tad too much. Or for the coworker who won’t shut up about his babies. Or for the childless hero of far-fetched tales.

Now if only there were a variation with a white elephant instead of a cat in the carrier…

8. “Guess What?” A Funny Men’s T-Shirt Lot

You can only have the “Guess what? Chicken butt” exchange with a friend who understands the child in you. This t-shirt is perfect for them and it’s a perfect gag gift to add to the pile at your White Elephant gift exchange.

How now? Brown cow.

What’s he meant? White elephant.

9. Funny T-Shirt for Football Fans: “I Suck At Fantasy Football”

We do, too. We aren’t even joking.

You can gift the “I Suck at Fantasy Football” cotton tee for someone who really does suck at fantasy football, for your flamboyant friend who couldn’t care less, and especially to troll someone who plays fantasy football all the time (and won’t shut up about it).

One way or another, once the unicorn and the white elephant meet, fun will be had as Yankee Swap gifts fly. Even if you suck at using active voice in your sentences.

10. Men’s Humor Is Weird…on a Tee: Cat Rides Llamacorn

Hipster cat riding a llama crossed with a unicorn. On a sublimated polyester t-shirt.

That is all. We can all go to the Dirty Santa gift exchange now.

Funny T-Shirts for Men Who Are Geeks

Geeks wear the darnedest things. Especially when it comes to funny t-shirts that showcase their mettle in math or other hard sciences or computers. </dirtysantagiftideas>

11. Funny Formula Tee: “Avoid Negativity”

Fine, we’ll admit it. The formula on this “Avoid Negativity” cotton t-shirt is beyond us (we can only count to 100), but we can get behind the slogan itself one hundred percent.

Since that’s exactly what the Dirty Santa game is all about, this tee is one of the best Dirty Santa gifts we can think of. And we aren’t just avoiding negativity by saying that.

12. Funny but True T-shirt for Guys: “Never Trust Atoms, They Make Up Everything”

Oh boy, is this joke funny or what? No Yankee Swap player will be able to argue with it, because it’s true. Unless of course they know their quantum physics, and things become a little two-sided.

At any rate, cotton makes up this “Never Trust Atoms” t-shirt and laughter your Yankee Swap gift exchange, guaranteed.

13. Funny T-Shirt for the Chemist: “I Wear This Shirt Periodically”

We aren’t sure who would be prouder to see you bring this funny t-shirt to the Christmas gift exchange party: Dmitri Mendeleyev, Walter White, or Dirty Santa himself.

Seriously, is it even possible to make references to chemistry? We thought it was all about Star Wars nowadays.

Think about that, periodically.

14. Fun vs. Funny: Br eaking Ba d or “Ba Co N”

Finally. Now we know what the elements of bacon are. And lest we and others at the Dirty Santa gift exchange forget, there’s the “Ba Co N” preshrunk cotton t-shirt to remind us.

Just try not to eat it, with bacon or without.

15. A Thinking Man’s Funny Tee: “I’m Thinking”

Look, we hate that buffering icon as much as the next guy. But put it on a cotton t-shirt with an explanation, and we’ve got ourselves a funny t-shirt for men.

“I’m thinking.” Whoever thought of that?

16. Funny Gen-X Men’s T-Shirt: “Never Forget”

Was life better when we used floppy discs and cassette tapes? We don’t recall, we were too busy partying with Dirty Santa. Do we like to put those obsolete technologies on a pedestal? You bet.

Take this cotton “Never Forget” t-shirt. It’s one of those good White Elephant gifts that is surely going to be a crowd pleaser at the Christmas gift exchange. Just make sure no millennials are around, they won’t even recognize these things.

17. Because Math Is Funny on a T-shirt: “Get Real, Be Rational”

Pi and i get printed on a funny men’s shirt. Of course they’re gonna get into an argument!

We’re sure there’s a joke in there somewhere, but we never got beyond 5th grade at North Pole Elementary, so we’ll have to ask a math at the Dirty Santa party. Don’t worry, he’ll be eager to explain to such a captive audience. And he’ll want to keep the shirt because to him, it’s amazeballs funny Dirty Santa gifts like this one that make the world go around.

Puntastic T-Shirts for Men

They say puns are the lowest form of humor. We disagree. A good pun is not easy to pull off. Take a look at these puntastically funny t-shirts for guys.

18. Funny Slogan T-Shirt: “Deja Poo. The Feeling That You’ve Heard This Crap Before”

Pardon our French if you’ve heard this crap before, too. Or make the “Deja Poo…” tee seem like one of your useful White Elephant gift ideas.

No one will be able to polish that turd.

19. Pho-nny If You’re Baked: “Pho Sho”

We contemplated long and hard whether to include this “Pho Sho” cotton tee on our funny men’s t-shirts list.

But then we thought, why the pho-ck not? We do have the pho-ggiest idea:

  • It’s pho-ntastic in its reference to two cultures, Vietnamese and Black American.
  • It’s so pho-nny it will leave no White Elephant gift exchange player be-pho-ddled.
  • It’ll help make a pho-ss at how awesome of a White Elephant gift idea it is.

Resistance is pho-tile, unless you’re a pho-ddy duddy. Play that pho-nky music, white boy!

20. No You Din’n: “I’m Into Fitness. Fit’ness Taco in My Mouth”

Find us one person who dislikes tacos. Right? Now find one that dislikes atrocious puns. What a well-attended a Dirty Santa Christmas gift exchange!

Players will be shaking their heads at this one. No one will want this. That’s why it’s perfect for “that guy,” you know that one, he who bestows his worst puns on unsuspecting friends or coworkers. Preferably in a car or elevator whence there’s no escape from his boundless wit. He deserves this poly/cotton blend t-shirt like nobody’s beeswax.

See? He got to us too!

21. Extra Points for Spanglish Puns: “No Prob-Llama”

No te preocupes, amigo, this llama is here legally. You see, it’s a No Prob-Llama!

Vamos a la Fiesta del Elefante Blanco!

Funny T-Shirts for Men With Pop Culture References

22. No Donuts for Old Men: Drunkin’ Grownups

Everyone loves to hate the donuts at the iconic (and disappearing) chain, but there’s no denying they’re a fabulous guilty pleasure, particularly on the road. Perhaps that’s just us at the North Pole, though.

If there’s an old guy a your White Elephant party, or your dad perhaps, or a boss known for close friendship with Jim Beam, Dirty Santa, and donuts, he must be identified with the Drunkin’ Grownups cotton tee. It’ll be one of the best Dirty Santa gifts he’ll ever get.

23. Poking Fun at Rednecks: “Paddle Faster, I Hear Banjos”

Ever since the movie Deliverance captured in 1972 the little minds of insecure men by confirming their worst nightmares about their rural countrymen, any reference to expressions of the region elicits stereotypes about the culture of the Appalachian Mountains.

We don’t know what that means either. What we do know is that when we hear banjos, we think bluegrass and fun and head towards them. That’s why Paddle Faster Funny Rafting T-Shirt 100% Pre-Shrunk Cotton. Kayak Canoe Shirt, referencing the famous movie, is so hilarious. It makes us feel better about ourselves while at the same time countering our musical predilections.


24. Funny Tee for Dunderheads: “Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, Inc.”

You know exactly who needs this funny t-shirt: the coworker who constantly quotes the hit NBC television show The Office to the point of being super obnoxious about it. Kinda like Michael Scott and the misplaced quotes he spouts under the delusion that he’s funny or smart.

The Dunder Mifflin Paper, Inc 100% cotton preshrunk jersey knit tee will fit your misguided coworker perfectly. As soon as someone sees it at your work Dirty Santa gift exchange, they’ll eye it to steal it, which is how you’ll know they secretly (or perhaps not so secretly) have a hard on for the show.

That’s what she said.

25. Funny Zombie-themed T-shirt: “I’m fine.”

If you love zombie TV shows like The Walking Dead or zombie movies like Shaun of the Dead, you’ll appreciate this funny men’s tshirt.

If you don’t care for the genre, there’s bound to be at least one among your friends or coworkers who won’t shut up about Lucille at every possible opportunity. Give the guy — for it’s probably going to be a man (or man-child, as some skeptics would claim) — this funny t-shirt and they’ll love you for it.

Unless someone at the Dirty Santa party steals it; then it’s all zombie apocalypse up in here.

26. Funny If You’re Still Single: “Bachelor Party Bingo”

Sure, a bachelor party is way different from a Dirty Santa one. While Dirty Santa has rules, the only rule at a bachelor party is to get wasted. And maybe see some titties. And smoke a cigar.

You know what? You can impose some discipline on the proceedings with this fitted cotton jersey Bachelor Party Bingo tee. Best played on the chest of a passed-out guest.

Hey, you can even tack this game onto the Dirty Santa gift exchange!

27. Shakespearean Funny Tee: “Dost Thou Even Hoist, Sir?”

Players of your Yankee Swap gift exchange don’t even have to be Bill S fans to appreciate the humor on this silk-screened ringspun cotton t-shirt. It’s funny in a smart way, it’s smart in a funny way.

Does thou not even ken?

Never mind, now we’re just going wild with our references. Our man Dirty Santa doesn’t mind a morsel.

* What Would Dirty Santa Do?

Featured image by Adam Hirschhorn.